


burn like a cigarette―

by bisexualklausmikaelson



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualklausmikaelson/pseuds/bisexualklausmikaelson
Summary: Years later, Steven goes back to Homeworld to help fix it, Connie comes to help. (adult!steven/connie, angst)





	burn like a cigarette―

**Author's Note:**

> au future fic/ au after “change your mind”

― 

He makes a habit of sitting on thrones.

Steven’s never been one for the royal luxuries of gems - the rituals, the so-called dances that never had any actual dancing involved, the sacrifices…it just wasn’t him. 

So when the Crystal Gems are called upon to help the Diamonds repair Homeworld, he’s not super excited about the whole thing. Not at first, anyway. But, the new order of things end up taking a lot longer than they imagined. And, as the years pass, Steven grows accustomed to the new world around him. 

He sits on Pink Diamond’s old throne while Connie cleans up the mess their last battle had left behind.

“Hey Connie,” he calls out to her, and she turns her head over her shoulder to meet his gaze. She’s surprised by how cold his eyes looked. “Can you believe that all of this could’ve been mine?” he says, while smirking.

She pauses, hesitant to offer him the truth. This area, it was making him different - like he wasn’t himself anymore. “Yeah Steven, I can,” Connie finally says, sounding sad.

“It’s just weird you know?” he quips, quickly. Steven stills smiles the same way though, Connie realizes. Like he’s still young and fourteen. “If I’d just been a different person back then, I could’ve had all this,” He sighs.

She stays quiet at his comment. It catches her off-guard and yet, she keeps her tone steady. Almost as if she’s afraid of him. “You sound like you regret it,” Connie whispers softly.

“Not exactly,” he tells her, biting down on his lip.

Steven watches her clean. He stops helping her and realizes how this could’ve been them - he could’ve been king and this girl who is now his entire world could’ve been equivalent to absolutely nothing.

(He hates how dark his mind can get, sometimes).

“Although, I think I would like having you as my pet,” he blurts out, absentmindedly.

Connie rolls her eyes. “Don’t be gross Steven,” she orders.

He wonders if she understands his behavior, if she’s truly this kind and forgiving, to the point where no matter what he does, she just excused him.

(Sort of like a Pearl - he thought)

“Mom had lots of pets,” he mentions, remembering all the stories he’s heard from the Diamonds and the Crystal Gems about his mother’s many partners. “My dad was one of them,” Steven recalls, suddenly feeling sorry for dear old Greg Universe.

He was just one of many of Rose’s admirers. 

Steven finds himself asking if that’s how he and Connie will someday end up.

“Yeah well,” she breathes, leaning against the wall and frowning. “You’re not your mom, remember that,” she says, seriously.

“I know.” he softly releases.

Secretly, Steven knows that he’s not Rose, but sometimes he’s scared he’s becoming her.

“You missed a spot,” he tells her instead, noticing how she had stopped her cleaning.

Connie looks down to where Steven is pointing. There is a shard of sparkling pink glass shattered on the floor. She wonders if this is symbolic in a way. But doesn’t say much else.

She gets to her knees before him and picks up the pieces. “Thanks,” Connie says, reaching for the floor sweeper.

― 

Their days on Homeworld are numbered.

Pearl keeps track of their progress, Garnet helps the gems on here adjust to fusion, Amethyst teaches them how to loosen up and have fun. Peridot introduces the ones that would like to visit Earth to technology. Lapis helps them find themselves.

Connie’s role had always been to help Steven. 

Although lately, she’s been feeling more and more like a nuisance to him.

“Steven,” she calls his name like a songbird - like a lost girl. “Where are you?” she asks, and she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t offer her an answer.

“Connie,” she’s shocked to hear. “In here,” he says, louder.

She follows the sound of his voice, and it almost felt like desperation. But, her demeanor is too strong, nothing gives her away. Not to an on looker, anyway.

(Steven’s tone had led her to a pink room located in White Diamond’s chambers. She looked around, feeling anxious). “I don’t think we’re supposed to be here,” she tells him, sounding worried.

He laughs. “Aren’t you supposed to do as I say?” Steven smiles, feet dangling over the edge of a small pink pool of water. 

She walks closer to him, talking a seat beside him. 

“I am Pink Diamond, after all,” he goes on to say, surprising her even more.

He was growing cynical, day by day, growing to like that look of shock on her face. Connie feared the effects Homeworld had on Steven. She feared what he had become.

“You’re Steven,” she reminds him ( - reminds herself). “Why did you call me in here?” she questions.

He watches her as she removes her shoes, dipping her feet into the pink water. He’s not sure why but, he’s been trying to push her away. Maybe this is just the effects of all the trauma he’s been through.

It’s bound to catch up with him somehow.

(Perhaps, he knows that, deep down, he hurts everyone he loves. And he can’t keep her forever, and she won’t leave on her own accord - so he must make her leave him).

“There’s some of my mom’s old stuff here,” Steven decides to offer this reply instead of the truth. He couldn’t handle breaking her, not just yet. “I need help sorting through it,” he tells her.

Connie takes another look around - the secret room was a mess, so many little things were scattered across the floor: an assortment of random beach items from Earth, jewelry, old coins, rocks…countless shiny objects. “She had so many things,” Connie sighs.

“Yeah,” Steven nods, his gaze fixated on the girl beside him. “She did,” he acknowledges, realizing that his mother didn’t just enjoy owning endless items - she enjoyed owning people.

(He thinks maybe - he’s going to end up doing that too).

“Guess now we know where Amethyst learned her hoarding habits,” she laughs, unexpectedly.

It’s not a lot, but it’s enough to pull Steven away from the darkness of his mind, just one more time.

― 

“You know,” Steven starts out, one night while he and Connie are in bed together. “You keep saying I’m not my mom - but I think I’m more like her than you can imagine,” he reveals, and he must be having a bad night. Because usually, he’d try to hide his cynicism with a smile. 

However, this time, Steven looked quite serious.

Connie is exasperated by him. She turns around in order to face him and seems quite annoyed. “This again?” she hisses. “How many times do you want me to say it?” she asks, sounding desperate.

“Until it sticks,” Steven orders, treating her as if she’s not enough - not for him. “Until I start believing it,” he wants to, oh he so gravely wants to.

But, she rolls out of bed then, angered by his response.

“That’s so unfair of you to ask of me,” Connie sobs, a single tear rolling down the side of her cheek. “You can’t keep using me to validate your feelings,” she warns him, but her tone is broken.

She hates that look on his face. She had only seen it once before all this - back when White Diamond had pulled his gem out and he was all pink.

She’s not sure if that was the real Steven though, but she’s beginning to forget the difference between them.

“That’s all I’ve ever done,” he whispers, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Use you,” Steven softly releases.

It’s right then and there that Connie decides to throw a pillow at his face. 

“You’re such an asshole,” she shouts, almost expecting him to launch the pillow back at her. However, he only manages to look away from her. “Homeworld really has changed you,” she admits, finally.

“Maybe,” Steven indulges her, noticing his extremities becoming pink and how bright his gem is glowing. “Or maybe this is just the real me,” he confirms, giving her one last mental push.

With that said, Connie starts walking towards the door.

“I think I liked you better before,” she figures, as she leaves the room.

He realizes that he’s too far gone when he doesn’t try to stop her.

“Funny,” Steven mumbles instead, slipping back in to bed. “I don’t think I ever liked me very much,” he tells himself, drifting back to sleep.

(Drifting back into darkness).

―


End file.
